Just Pick Already!
One of the things that we deal with on a pretty regular basis is Matt’s issue with making a decision. I’m not talking about what to have for dinner or what movie to see, this is about bigger stuff. Matt is a gamer, he has a lot of different equipment for his gaming. Sound boards, mics, cameras, headsets, as well as the actual things he plays games on. When it comes to buying new things like this I know most people have trouble deciding which one to get. There are only 1,000 options for new TVs or computers, it can be overwhelming. With that said, Matt takes it to the extreme. He does days and days of research on something, only to buy it (finally) and then realize it’s not what he wants. So I return it for him, because asking him to do it would be awful. I do it with a smile on my face, because it really doesn’t bother me at all. In the past month we have bought three headsets and returned two. I know you’re thinking this is insane, but I truly believe he can’t help it. Pulling the trigger on something like his is a tough choice, and then when that trigger is pulled to not be happy totally sucks!
Part of his anxiety is “buying” things to help him feel “happy.” I put buying in quotes because he rarely spend money on new stuff, he traded old stuff for it. (He got an XBox not too long ago and paid $20 actual dollars for it.) He sees the newest thing come out and wants it so bad, but then isn’t happy with it, so he trades it buys something else. No skin off our back, he can do till the cows come home, for all I care.
This has become a very normal thing from us. He will say “so and so new game is coming out so I’m going to trade so and so game to get.” I say “cool, that game looks awesome.” I think it is very normal to have these apprehensions when buying stuff, but Matt takes it to the next level. He is so worried about getting the wrong one.
I have learned to ask the questions like “are you sure this is the one you want” or “have you read reviews on it?” In the end though, it doesn’t matter. I will probably end up returning it and a few others before he is 100% happy.
Gaming makes him happy and keeps his mind off the “thoughts” and often over take him. It’s the least I can do to be supportive, in this annoying inner struggle he has with himself about what new gaming monitor to buy after he traded his XBox. I will always do whatever I can to help relieve some of the “unhappiness” he deals with in a regular basis.
So, I walk into Best Buy for the third time with him has he looks at the same 5 headsets he has looked at 15 times (and that’s just in the store) until he decided. If it’s the wrong choice, we do it all again.
Being the other side of anxiety is hard. I’ve learned to smile and remind myself “it’s not his fault.” You can do this too, I promise.
We are the other side.
Part of his anxiety is “buying” things to help him feel “happy.” I put buying in quotes because he rarely spend money on new stuff, he traded old stuff for it. (He got an XBox not too long ago and paid $20 actual dollars for it.) He sees the newest thing come out and wants it so bad, but then isn’t happy with it, so he trades it buys something else. No skin off our back, he can do till the cows come home, for all I care.
This has become a very normal thing from us. He will say “so and so new game is coming out so I’m going to trade so and so game to get.” I say “cool, that game looks awesome.” I think it is very normal to have these apprehensions when buying stuff, but Matt takes it to the next level. He is so worried about getting the wrong one.
I have learned to ask the questions like “are you sure this is the one you want” or “have you read reviews on it?” In the end though, it doesn’t matter. I will probably end up returning it and a few others before he is 100% happy.
Gaming makes him happy and keeps his mind off the “thoughts” and often over take him. It’s the least I can do to be supportive, in this annoying inner struggle he has with himself about what new gaming monitor to buy after he traded his XBox. I will always do whatever I can to help relieve some of the “unhappiness” he deals with in a regular basis.
So, I walk into Best Buy for the third time with him has he looks at the same 5 headsets he has looked at 15 times (and that’s just in the store) until he decided. If it’s the wrong choice, we do it all again.
Being the other side of anxiety is hard. I’ve learned to smile and remind myself “it’s not his fault.” You can do this too, I promise.
We are the other side.
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