Can I Please Just Go to Bed?
Nighttime is the worst time in our house. Is it the same in yours? Matt's anxiety seems to get more intense at night. He is a night person, and I am not (being a teacher doesn't help either.) On weekdays I'm usually ready for bed at 5:00. Of course I keep myself up until 10:00, unless it's been a really rough day. Most of the time Matt can occupy himself with video games, YouTube, etc and keep his mind clear of "his thoughts" as he calls them. Although, most nights are fine there are the nights that his mind take hold and runs in the worst possible directions. Sometimes this happens after I've gone to bed and he just deals with it on his own (which I hate). Other times it happens before I've crawled into bed and I end up staying up later than I like.
On those nights I think about how tired I will be for work the next day, or how tired I am right then. Then I try my best to push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the task at hand, getting Matt to where he feels calm enough to go to sleep. Many nights it just ends up me staying up as we watch stupid videos, King of Queens, or I watch him play video games. Other nights it involved a long and intense conversation, to which I give as much support as my tired brain can muster. Sometimes it's him talking and me silently listening.
No matter how the night is falling I try my hardest to stay up to do whatever it is he needs; ears to listen, ideas to share, or laughs to produce. No matter the time of night or whatever it is he needs I TRY to do it with care and encouragement. Many times I have failed and I will continue to do so, but many times I am helpful. It's not always easy, but sitting a room at 2am alone, with thoughts circling (that's how he explains it to me) is way worse.
With all the said, I go back to my earlier post, you still have to take care of yourself. You still have to sleep at some point. So, if its starting to be 4 am and you have to be up soon, it's time to say "I'm so sorry this is happening, but I really need to get some sleep." After a long talk or enough dumb videos Matt usually gets tired enough to be able to pass out, that's my chance to also pass out.
If you're finding yourself dealing with long nights full of anxiety that you don't really understand, just try your best to give support, but also realize at some point you have to sleep.
On those nights I think about how tired I will be for work the next day, or how tired I am right then. Then I try my best to push those thoughts from my mind and focus on the task at hand, getting Matt to where he feels calm enough to go to sleep. Many nights it just ends up me staying up as we watch stupid videos, King of Queens, or I watch him play video games. Other nights it involved a long and intense conversation, to which I give as much support as my tired brain can muster. Sometimes it's him talking and me silently listening.
No matter how the night is falling I try my hardest to stay up to do whatever it is he needs; ears to listen, ideas to share, or laughs to produce. No matter the time of night or whatever it is he needs I TRY to do it with care and encouragement. Many times I have failed and I will continue to do so, but many times I am helpful. It's not always easy, but sitting a room at 2am alone, with thoughts circling (that's how he explains it to me) is way worse.
With all the said, I go back to my earlier post, you still have to take care of yourself. You still have to sleep at some point. So, if its starting to be 4 am and you have to be up soon, it's time to say "I'm so sorry this is happening, but I really need to get some sleep." After a long talk or enough dumb videos Matt usually gets tired enough to be able to pass out, that's my chance to also pass out.
If you're finding yourself dealing with long nights full of anxiety that you don't really understand, just try your best to give support, but also realize at some point you have to sleep.
We don't understand, but we see it. We see your pain, we see your nerves, we see you.
We are the other side.
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